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Just blah!

Just blah.  That’s just an excellent way to articulate where I am.  There are some benefits to being blah.  My level of concern and care about situations are very whatever attitude.

Don’t Know, Not Thinking About It

What am I going to do with Krisann’s educational testing?  Don’t know, not thinking about it right now.  What are we going to do for Thanksgiving?  Don’t know, not thinking about it right now.  When are Chloe and I going to work on signing her up to try an ACT or are we even going to go that route?  Don’t know, not thinking about it right now.  So as you can see, there are some benefits to being blah.  However, there are some problems with being blah.

All those things that I don’t know and don’t care right now, nothing is changing about them.  They are still waiting on me.  My house is becoming a junky mess because I don’t want to pick up or make other people pick up.  My compassion for others is quite slim right now.  Grace is not my spiritual gift at the moment.  More like an, “I gotta hate that for you attitude!”   These things are so totally unlike me.

God’s Invitation

In the middle of being extremely blah, God has an invitation for me.  It has been a hard one to accept for me.  I am not one to slow down.  I go, go, and go some more, but God is calling me to slow down.  His invitation is for me to allow myself to grieve.  No sweeping my emotions under the rug and moving full force ahead.  God is saying, sit with your feelings for a bit.  But while you are sitting, keep your eyes fixed on me.  To keep my eyes fixed on Him, I have to focus on the things that I am grateful for in the middle of blah.  Otherwise, blah controls me.  Numerous things are going on that I have to sit in right now.

Sitting in my blah moments

I’m sitting in my grief as I grieve my mom and walk alongside my dad.  Everyone grieves differently so why would we expect myself or my dad to be on the same timetable? Nope!  Our grieving is very different which leads to many blah moments.

I’m sitting in my discontentment that I’ve not graduated from physical therapy yet and that I’m still taking anti-inflammatory and Tylenol regularly.  I despise taking medicine.  And I could sure use those hours back in my week that is spent at therapy or doing therapy at home.

I’m questioning, “Why God does my big girl have to struggle so much physically and emotionally?”

I’m remembering our first days of MS diagnosis and knowing that God has done much good in our lives because of that but yet longing for MS not to be a part of our lives.

Who wants to sit in these blah moments?  Not me!

Come With Me Devo

Most of the time, I would sweep these feelings/emotions under the rug and keep moving forward, but yet God is inviting me to sit in these blah moments.  Experience them but not let them control me.  Focus on Him in these places and allow Him to bring more layers of healing in my life.  I’ve started a devotional this week entitled Come With Me by Suzanne Eller.  She’s discussing being with God in the ordinary and routine.  Not doing big crazy things for God, but rather “Come With Me” in your daily life.  She asked us on Friday to think about what was our “Come With Me” that God was calling us to.  For me, it was none other than allowing myself grieving time and persevering through the blah by keeping my eyes focused on Him in gratitude in the middle of blah.  Really, God?  Can I just sweep it under the rug and pretend these things didn’t happen?  That’s so much easier!!  Or can I just let blah control life and then just not care and be Eyeore?  Nope!  That’s not what God is calling me to do.  For me, this is a hard place to come with Him!


If you need to “Come With Me,” I pray that you will do the hard things and Go With Him to the places/things He calls you to.  “Come With Me” might mean loving your spouse well even though you’re mad.  It might mean being present with your kids and turning your cell phone off.  It might mean spending time with Him every day!

For Discussion

How do you handle your blah seasons?  I’d love to hear your input today on how you do blah!



Wife of 20+ years. Mom to 3 children. Love sharing my life with weary hearts so that we can know the One who is Good, who is in Control, and Whose strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Beth Edwards

    So your givacrap took a hike?? How do I handle my Blah seasons- just ride them out. It sounds like you have gotten ahead of yourself. That you want everything organized way ahead of time. Right now is your time to grieve and rest. Give yourself a break. Talk to someone- someone that has lost a parent to Alzheimers. Consider joining a grief group. As far as the PT, talk to one of therapists about your frustrations. They understand. If you cry, believe me you are not the first person to cry at NTS. I can give you a 100% guarantee on that one.
    As far as Chloe, you can make that decision later, with her input. She should be able to get extra time on the test. I am thinking that the better test for her is the SAT. I think it is geared more toward the creative students, the divergent thinkers.
    Just rest- Right now that is Gods plan for you.
    As for the house- This is one of my favorite quotes- its from Erma Bombeck. “My mother said cleanliness was next to Godliness. I say cleanliness is next to impossible. If you can’t see it , smell it, or trip over it, move on by.” When one of the kids needs something and can’t find it, they will clean up. Maybe better yet, let Zine run over it , when its broken or has tread marks, they will figure it out!!!

  2. Deb Russell

    I understand the blah! We’re 5 weeks from DD (Dannah’s death) and I’m still blah. I can’t seem to get motivated. We are doing just enough to get by. Food gets cooked, laundry get washed. Dave is working. I’m going to BSF and keeping Jax 2 days a week. I had two days this past week that I felt almost happy. As I realized the feeling those days, it was as if I felt guilty for feeling almost happy. Then Thursday evening comes, the night we got the midnight call, and Friday morning, the day reality hit, and the blah returns. I have cried every single day for 5 weeks. Some days more than others. So, crying is supposed to be good for healing, so I must be doing something right. I can tell you, from experience of loosing my own mom, happiness with return but you will always feel the loss on some level. Prayers for you, my sweet friend. We will laugh again. Love you!

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