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When Defeat Tries to Win

This week, I encountered a situation where I saw defeat try to creep in and win.   It’s easy after working on projects for a long time with no improvements to experience defeat.  When every direction you turn, it feels the enemy is putting roadblocks over the paths you know to be right in God’s eyes, it’s easy to feel defeated. [bctt tweet=”Invading thoughts from the deceitful enemy seek to destroy our sound thinking processes.  ” username=”kksmith8694″]

How do we respond to these moments when defeat tries to win?


Give Up!

The easy thing to do is to give up.  We’re never going to finish this project.  This must not be what God wants us to do or else it wouldn’t be so hard.  Believing untruths about yourself is easier than admitting the enemy’s work in your life.  Give up!  Life’s just easier that way.

Move On!

Another way we try to handle being defeated is with distance.  We believe the results of anything will be fruitless so we just need to get over that this is the way life is going to be.  Accept your fate kind of mentality!  Therefore, we distance ourselves from the projects that need to be done.  We move on to other projects that we try to make more important than the problem we are trying to get over.  We emotionally detach from the situation because we are just tired and spent.   Just move on and leave this defeat behind.

Get Angry!

I’ve seen many show anger in times when defeat is on their heels.  I was reminded this week anger is a secondary emotion.  Underneath anger, there is always a more vulnerable emotion.  However, anger controls and manipulates so that we can hide those vulnerable feelings even in the midst of a safe group.

None of these responses are going to be productive and healing for our hearts.  I’d like to propose another way we can respond to these defeated moments in life.

Give In!

Give in to others.

Sometimes, we just need a new perspective.  We need new energy that someone else brings.  It doesn’t mean we are weak or wrong, it simply means we are not meant to do things alone.  Giving in to others by accepting new perspectives and embracing new energy can lift our spirits and give us hope to not give up!

Other times, we need to give in to those around us that love us.  Maybe we have held on to our project the way we thought was right.  However, maybe it is true that someone else has a different idea that is worth trying.  We should be willing to give in and be willing to give another way an opportunity to work.

Give in to truth!

It is an integral part of our lives to learn to discern between truth and deceitfulness.  (Especially, when it comes to the enemy’s invading thoughts!)  However, sometimes the truth can be different than one would ever expect.    We must be careful not to assume we know the truth.

When we are dealing with the enemy’s invading thoughts, I always say, “Shine God’s flashlight on it.”    Does this thought sound like something God would say or the enemy would say?  Would God say, you’re dumb and always wrong?  Would God say, you’re just letting people down all the time?  No…that’s not the heart of the Father.  Be very careful when it comes to the truths you believe about yourself.

When we are dealing with projects and circumstances here on earth, we can also often assume we know the truth.  Just this week, I assumed something that I believed was true.  It didn’t take long for God to prove to me, my assumption was wrong. We can make educated hypotheses, however, we can not know the truth until the facts are revealed, the experiment completed.  Let’s be careful to give in to truth and not what we think might be the truth.  Let’s complete our experiments to the end, don’t stop half way!!

Give in to feeling and healing.

Hidden emotions are never healed.  What used to be my least favorite statement of all time, “To Heal You Must Choose to Feel and Reveal,” is so true.  I am thankful I have come to understand this truth in my life.  We need safe people whom we can share our emotions with. And sometimes, those feelings need to come out.  There’s no need to hide nor control when you are with safe people.  Just feel and reveal, receive comfort, and then healing begins.


Just real stuff…

They say the best place to speak from is your heart.  I have preached this message to myself and my entire family this week.  More times than I care to count I have quoted, “Greater is He that is in me, than He that is in the world.”   I can name multiple big things that have been going on in my life.  It is a season of big things.  The crazy enemy is out to make the big things bigger and more difficult.  We have battled lies from the enemy, extreme depression and anxiety, urinary tract infection, new doctor, new medical insight, scam artists galore, sleepless nights, an ugly migraine, an upcoming trip to Ohio for multiple appointments planning, the list could go on.  It is a season.   However, His truth keeps replaying over and over, “Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world.”

I felt myself at times wanting to give up!  Let the scam artists win.  My kids are always going to struggle with anxiety and depression, why do I keep spinning my wheels trying to help them?

I felt myself wanting to move on.  “Please don’t pray for me because I will cry,” I uttered to sweet friends!  Guess what?  Sweet friends still prayed and I did cry but my heavy heart was lightened in that process.

Anger has arisen and some of it may have been proper anger I admit. However, part of my anger definitely arose as a secondary emotion.  Fear makes me angry.  I do not like to be afraid and if fear arises, I know to watch for anger because it is probably going to bubble over as anger.

Yet, in the middle of all these emotions and circumstances, God has been whispering in my ear, “Give in!  Give in to others, Give in to the truth I place in you, Give in to feeling and healing.  Give in!” [bctt tweet=”Where is God asking you to give in today?  Do you need others in your life?  His truth?  His healing?  Just give in to Him today.” username=”kksmith8694″]







Wife of 20+ years. Mom to 3 children. Love sharing my life with weary hearts so that we can know the One who is Good, who is in Control, and Whose strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.