Do you trust your GPS more than me?

This is the question God whispered in my ear a few weeks ago.  Ouch, did it hurt!

A few weeks ago, I wrote about Kids Journey MS Camp for kids whose parent has MS.  It was on this journey that I heard this question.

Let me set the stage…

I put the address in my GPS to a camp I had never been to before and away we went.  I had no trouble delivering Krisann to camp.  However, when I put my hotel address in my GPS, it took me on some back roads.  I grew up in the country, so I know backroads when I see them.  These were back backroads for sure!  It took me about 30 minutes to drive to my hotel, and 25 of those were on these backroads.  Once at the hotel, I realized I had left my purse sitting at the foot of Krisann’s camp bed.  No credit card, no wallet, no money were in my possession.  For a moment, I panicked.

There was no other option other than to drive back to camp and get my purse.  It’s evening time now, and I don’t like to drive at night, especially on the back backroads that I don’t know.  I plug the camp address back into my GPS and would you want to guess what it did?  It took me a completely different way on different backroads.  My thinking pattern sounded something like this, “doggone it, GPS, why don’t you take me the same way twice?”  However, I never doubted my GPS.  I started the car and away I went.

On my return trip to camp, I battled much anxiety and frustration.  Frustration brewed over the fact I had to drive BACK to camp.  I was frustrated at myself for being so mindless.  Anxiety grew because my gas gauge continued to climb toward empty, and I was calculating down to the half gallon whether I would safely retrieve my purse and make it back to the gas station.   Anxiety over driving after dark consumed me as well.  It’s a good thing I wasn’t anxious about whether my GPS would get me to the right place or else I might have had a nervous breakdown.

I had full confidence that my GPS was going to get me where I wanted to go.  As I tried to avoid bumps along the backroads to camp, it happened.  I heard this whisper in my ear.

[bctt tweet=”Do you trust your GPS more than me?–God” username=”kksmith8694″]

Surely, God didn’t just ask me this question.  Oh, la la!  Yes, He did!  As I pondered that question, I had to respond truthfully, after all, God already knew my heart.  I sheepishly responded, “I believe that I trust my GPS more than you, God.”  How could this be?  It was true.  My heart grieved.

God and I had a long talk about trusting Him that day in my car.  Not only did I promise to work on trusting Him more, but He has also given me plenty of opportunities to practice!

Trusting Opportunity #1

On Monday, following the whisper on Friday, I had a heart ablation with a heart that worked perfectly fine.  However, I was working on trusting God in those moments.  Want to know something, since this Friday, my heart has not acted up one time.  I keep wondering if in my surrender to trust God more than my GPS if healing didn’t happen in more than one way in my heart.

Trusting Opportunity #2

The next week, my oldest daughter had a massive meltdown.  The meltdown was all over lies she continues to believe in her head.  These lies are going to be the end of me one day I’m afraid.  But in these moments of comforting, replacing her lies with truth, and trying not to loose my cool, I had the opportunity to practice trusting God again.  God will always give us wisdom when we need it, not before, not after.  I had said all the words I knew to say, and they made no difference.  With my children, when words and comfort fail, I pray.

So I began to pray out loud.  As I prayed God put words in my mouth.  New words I had never spoken before.  A new concept to put in our thinking caps.  As I prayed, I began to feel my girl’s body relax.  I kept praying until her body had melted into a heap.  This experience may have been more for me than for her.  It was an opportunity to practice trusting God more than my GPS.

[bctt tweet=”Why wait until all else fails to pray? ” username=”kksmith8694″]

Trusting Opportunity #3, #4, and #5

This past week, I made a trip to Arkansas.  I decided I was going to try to spend at least one night at my parents’ house.  Let’s just say; I have yet to be able to step foot back in my their house since my mom passed away there in October.  The closer I got to Arkansas, the more emotional I became.  I couldn’t do it.  Thank goodness for Aunts who will take me in at a moments notice!  (Especially after I had waffled back and forth a gazillion times about what to do.)

This situation is a very tender place to trust God.  However, I trusted Him.  Had he planned for me to walk back into my parent’s house, I am sure He would have given me the emotional stamina to do such.  Trusting Opportunity #3.

Trusting Opportunity #4 was because we decided at the last minute for Krisann to stay here. So I made the trip alone.  Her staying turned out to be a huge blessing for me.  And it was the best experience she has had without me in a long time.

Trusting Opportunity #5 was a doctor’s appointment my dad had.  Unfortunately, the doctor communicated that it was time for my dad to stop driving.  If he’s passed you going 85 mph on the four-lane, let me apologize in advance.  He seems to think the speed limit no longer applies to him these days.  The police officer that has stopped him twice in the past month is more than glad to hear these doctor’s words I’m sure.  After hearing this news, we got in the elevator, and he said, “Well, I guess I’m going to have to get me a horse.”  Of course, he believes he is perfectly fine to drive.  However, when the driving evaluation says this is the lowest possible score, I think that’s a good indication it’s time to give up the keys.  This opportunity is a continual opportunity to trust God.

Trusting Opportunity #6

My dad has a close friend who was in rehab from a stroke.  We visited on Thursday, and she was making progress.  On Friday when we went, there was a considerable change.  This is not my mama, nor did I know this lady, but God put me in this place at this time for a reason.  Awkwardly, I reached out to her only family, a daughter in law.

Long story short, I spent my entire Friday afternoon and evening with this lady in the ER until her daughter-in-law could get there.  Awkward.  I know very little about this woman, and here I am, loving her like I would have wanted someone to love my mama had she been in this situation.  For me, it brought up a lot of painful memories of caring for my mama in her last days.  But I was able to practice trusting God that there was a purpose in this experience.  (The crazy thing is I was confident I was never going to love this woman.)  Isn’t it just like God to show us just how wrong we are?!

Trusting Opportunity #7

Midweek I head out to a writing conference.  As I have prepared for this conference, I have been able to reflect on all God has done in my life and my writing in the past year, and I am humbled and excited at what He has done and what He has in store.  So, I’m walking into agent meetings with book proposals, one-sheets, and business cards in hand.  What will God do?  I have no clue.  But I’m trusting Him.

Do you trust your GPS more than you trust me?

That’s a question I hope God doesn’t need to ask me again.  However, I’m grateful that God uses the simplest of things to speak to our hearts.