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Today has been a full day!  I’m not sure what results that we wanted to hear.  I think Zine stated it very nicely as we were discussing all our options on the way over this morning.  He said, really none of the options are good.  They are just what is.  We went and had his MRI done.  Super sweet folks we encountered there.  Then we headed over to the neurologist office.

The neurologist office staff is always pleasant to us.  However, waiting is something you come to expect when you go there.  And today was like most…waiting.  We got right to a room but then the waiting began.  And let’s just say when there is a good bit of anxiety and you’re waiting for awhile the room gets very boring!!  But when the doctor arrives there is no clock.  There is no sense of urgency.  He is all yours.  And I love that about him.

The MRI results showed no change in Zine’s Cspine MRI.  There were some changes in his brain MRI, but not substantial changes.  So the doctor feels that this is a sign that the chemo is slowing the disease process down and we should repeat the chemo.  We shared our concerns regarding one of our kiddos as it relates to repeating chemo.  And the great thing about Dr. L is that he can look at a big picture.  We seem to look at snippets.  But he has this way of looking at a big picture and putting himself in your shoes.  He doesn’t just give you an answer, he truly tries to think of what he would do in your situation.  Today he shared some wise advice that he wanted us to pass onto to this certain child of ours.  This chemo is not a fix.  It is just the best thing I have to offer.  And I am trying to do the best thing for everyone involved.  And I loved that piece of advice.  This chemo is not a fix.  We should not expect to see an improvement in Zine.  However, if it slows the disease down, then we have bought more time for our family.

It was decided that we would repeat the chemo process.  It will be the same chemo we did last year.  This time it will be three days and not five days.  The logistics will be the same.  Zine and I and someone else who has yet to be determined will be going to Cullman for that time.  Zine is just not strong enough to make the trip back and forth.  Not to mention how sick it made him last year.  My concern is taking care of him away from home.  He is worse than he was last year.  So there are concerns but I am trusting God to work those details out on our behalf.  I will begin the details of planning tomorrow and trust me, there are many details to be figured out.  With my mind going in a thousand different directions, just pray that God would orchestrate all the details easily.  I would like to awake in the morning to a list already made out!  Unfortunately, that is not going to happen most likely.  I actually already started this evening!!  But over the next few days, I am trusting God to orchestrate details on our behalf.

Feb. 6-8 is our chemo dates.

Please continue to pray for our kiddos.  We had some sweet family time tonight.  There were tears.  There was anxiety.  But it culminated in our family in a circle taking turns praying aloud over the situation.  And in Conner’s prayer he reminded everyone that God was a giant slayer!  This chemo was a giant but we knew a God who was bigger than chemo.  Sweet Krisann prayed that God would just heal Zine’s MS so that he wouldn’t have to have chemo.  However, by the end of the evening, Krisann couldn’t brush her teeth because she was certain she was going to throw up.  I tried to educate her that it was anxiety making her feel that way.  Needless to say, I think she may have gone to bed with out brushing her teeth and guess what…I didn’t even care!  There are things worse than not brushing your teeth.  Chemo is most definitely one of those!

There is not a bone in my body that wants to go through this again.  But I walk in confidence in the wisdom from the doctor.  This is not a fix but it is the best we can offer.

Pray for the many emotions that we must deal with.  Pray for rest.  Pray that I would be able to eat.  We know when I am stressed my eating goes by the wayside.  500 calories today is about all I got.  That’s okay for a day.  It’s not okay for weeks at a time.  I forsee a huge battle ahead of me.  Pray for God to orchestrate all the details that have to be lined up.  Pray for our children.  Our hearts are broken for all they have to go through.  Pray for peace to fill each of our hearts!

We love you all.  Thank you for journeying with us!  We know that God is a giant slayer.  And He’s in control of even this chemo treatment.  We also can see His faithfulness to us.  It is time to put our faith into action.  Thank goodness that we have faith.  I can’t imagine going through life without faith in a giant slaying, bigger than chemo, detail organizing God!