Our First Christmas not in Arkansas

Well, due to low blood counts, we made the decision to not make a trip to Arkansas and be exposed to new germs and then just thought the trip would be really hard for Zine.  So…we stay here.  It’s the first time in 40 years I will not sleep in my parent’s house on Christmas Eve.

I know our decision did not make either my family nor Zine’s family happy.  But…it is what it is.  There’s lot to life that’s not happy right now…welcome to our world.

We drew some parameters around the fact that we wanted time alone on Christmas.  Just too emotional to have people all in our house.  We wanted a quiet day.  We wanted to be alone to open our secret Santa presents.  And we wanted some time to maybe develop a routine unique to our family.  Zine and I both feel that the boundary we put around our actual Christmas day did not bless some of our family members.  We gave the opportunity between us and everyone to discuss the conflict it might have caused in their hearts.   However, that opportunity was not accepted.  So…we really hate that we possibly offended some family members, and would have loved to be able to work things out.  But…we are only responsible for that which we know.  If our family chooses to be angry with us about our decision but refuse to discuss it with us, then there is absolutely no reason to hold a grudge against us and there is absolutely nothing we can do in regards to that.  Our assessment of the situations could also be inaccurate.  So unless we are communicated with, we can not be responsible for hurt feelings.  I’m sure that we are not the only family to have drama.  I feel like we have drama in our family all the time.  But I do not feel one ounce bad about putting a boundary around our Christmas Day!

We were never able to see Zine’s family over Christmas.  We did see my family for just a few hours the day after Christmas but  my mom was having such a TERRIBLE day that it was not even fun!  Alzheimer’s disease is not fun at all either!!

So Christmas season was quiet and much different than normal.  But it was not bad!  I think for our current state, it was the best decision ever!  Change is not always bad!  If I only could convince myself and others of that in other areas of our lives!


Wife of 20+ years. Mom to 3 children. Love sharing my life with weary hearts so that we can know the One who is Good, who is in Control, and Whose strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.