As I shared in a previous post last week, my cry box got turned over in a big way! It’s been a very long time since I cried that much and that long! So I wrote a post about it…When the Crybox Got Turned Over.
However, I still struggle with crying. I found that after leaving the massage therapist office and began to think over all that had happened, my anxiety level begin to rise. And my mind can play all kinds of tricks with my emotions and thought patterns. One of my most famous tricks, if I feel like I have let someone down or if I have upset them, I like to hide for awhile. Avoidance is a good thing. Or…if there is a controversy that needs to be addressed, I like to hide then as well! There is no guessing where Chloe gets this trait from! So…I began to get myself all worked up over going back and getting another massage. And I told myself so many statements that it was unreal! And I found so many excuses that I could come up with for the next time my massage was scheduled so I could “hide”. It was really thought consuming! And I HATE for thoughts or situations to consume me! It was going to be a long two weeks until my next appointment and I was going to be all in a work by the time I got to that appointment. This whole situation was just crazy!!
As God likes to give us good gifts, God by some miracle, allowed me a do over on my massage. First the massage I got was of no help because I was so busy trying not to cry that there was no way a muscle in my body relaxed. Second, I really didn’t want those crazy thoughts consuming me for two weeks. So two or three days later, I got a do over. And I was pretty nervous to go back in, I gotta say! Mr. T said, Karen, “Do you believe what you say?” He went on to say if you really do believe what you say, then there should be no bad thoughts or anxiety about coming back here. Yes, yes I know this to be true in my head!!! But in my crazy world of emotions and thoughts, I guess I was not believing what I said. Or maybe I just needed some reassurance that tears were okay!
So as I pondered this whole escapade that really and truly wasn’t nearly as big of a deal as my brain made it out to be, I had to think…if at first you don’t believe, just keep saying truth over and over! Eventually truth will sink in.
I tell Zine this all the time…replace lies with truth. And when the lies in your head and thoughts reappear, just keep saying truth in its place. Reminds me of Dory in Finding Nemo!
