Finally….central line is leaving

Tomorrow is the day…the central line is being removed.  If you’ve ever wondered what a central line looks like…here you go!

Poor guy!  On one side of his chest he has his port.  On the other side of his chest he has been sporting this massive central line for quite some time!  Then right below his belly button he has more tubes!!  It’s been hard to know where I can touch him at!  Don’t want to mess anything up!  And don’t want to hurt him!!  So very careful I have been!

Not to mention, this central line can not get wet!  So showering has definitely not been as easy.  Wait…showering is NEVER easy!  But…it’s even harder lately!

So when our procedure time of 12 noon rolls around tomorrow, I know this guy is going to be so grateful to get this central line removed!  But folks, he’s complained very little about this!  We all know…if I had this central line you would have ALL heard me complain by now!  But Zine has endured so patiently and so quietly without complaints!

We did encounter some side effects from the treatment he had done.  Your blood is just not made to be filtered through machines all the time!  So…he not only has a port, a central line, and a permanent cath…his feet and legs have been huge since we have gone through this procedure.  Like…his feet honestly have looked like if I touched them they would break open and start leaking water.

We have increased lasix medication.  Which means when that happened, then potassium had to be increased.  It’s like this never ending cycle that sometimes happens.  But once again, he never complains!  So…I do that for him!!  Isn’t that the loving wife to do that for him?  My feet have unfortunately looked like this before!!  I have had the blessing of taking lasix myself…thanks to the child named Krisann!!  And this hurts!!!!  I know for certain!!

I know so many of you think we do so well.  And you think we are always happy despite what life has given us!  Well…that is not always the case.  New Years is Zine’s least favorite holiday!  It has now surpassed halloween.  So we all know that is bad!

And here we are…putting fake smiles on our face as we ring in the new year!  There was not a darn thing fun about New Years Eve!  We were exhausted.  We were tired.  We rang in the new year because it does take two hours to get all the nighttime routine done.  Not because we were out partying!  And the next few days were even worse than this.  It got to where we couldn’t put the fake smiles on.  We just let the tears roll.  New years is a time of great hope and excitement for many people.  We on the other hand look at New Years and see not much hope!  And definitely no excitement.  We see chemo, we see heart ache, we see trials, and we struggle!  Tears have been very common place in his eyes and mine these past few days!

We love our bathroom!  It’s like my favorite color…red!  And for those of you that say life happens in your family room or in your living room…somehow, my bathroom is where life happens most of the time.  It’s the place where tears are shed.  It’s the place where discussions are had.  But it is also a place where love is shared.  Not just between us.  But between us and our kids.  Less than 10 minutes ago, Conner is in the bathroom with Zine and there is a friendly conversation going on between the two of them!  But…when it takes two hours to do your nighttime routine…sometimes company is simply in order!!  And now you will all know that when we post a picture with a red background…you’ll know we took it in our bathroom!  LOL!!

Praying for a smooth procedure Wednesday as the central line comes out!  Praying for God in some miraculous way to give us a hope!  A hope that He does desire to prosper us and not to harm us.  A hope that He has to give us a future!  And praying that we would learn to be content even if that future includes MS!

For the first time today, I had someone ask me if my husband was going to make it.  It totally caught me off guard!  I wanted to text back…nope he’s dying a slow horrible death!  But instead, I haven’t said anything…yet!  Sometimes time is just needed before I respond!  I really do want Jesus to leak out of me and that people don’t see me respond in frustration or anger or bitterness!  But I think Zine and I both need a renewed spirit and a renewed mind!  We need our hope and joy restored!  And I know those things could happen in the middle of MS!  I know God could do that!  And I know that God could heal MS!  And that is my utmost prayer!  But in the meantime while we wait on that, it would be nice to experience hope, joy, renewed minds and renewed spirits!


Wife of 20+ years. Mom to 3 children. Love sharing my life with weary hearts so that we can know the One who is Good, who is in Control, and Whose strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.