Thursday was a day for the record books. I posted a picture on our Facebook page so I know a lot of people were praying for us as I ended up back in the ER with Zine. Thank you. We needed it.
Our home health nurse arrived at 11:00 Thursday morning and by noon she had sent us to the ER. We have been dealing with what we thought was a UTI. However, we discovered on Thursday that was not the cause of the complications we were dealing with. And then we had hardware dysfunction upon hardware dysfunction on top of the problems we had been dealing with. I think that’s a good way to explain it! Catheters are a wonderful thing when they work correctly. But when they do not allow output, it becomes an emergency.
After about 10 hours in ER, they let us come home only to return to urology office first thing the next morning. The ER solved crisis number 1. They were able to remove old cath and finally were able to get a new one in. And after quite a bit of work, they were able to get the new cath to functioning properly again. Let’s just say, this was an extremely difficult day in Zine’s life!
Crisis 2…what is causing the complications we have been experiencing. That is in the hands of the urologist. So this coming Thursday, Zine will have a procedure done to determine the cause of the complications. There has been mention of a horribly ugly “C” word. That is how we have described it at our home since Friday. It’s like no one wants to say the word cancer. So we just refer to it as the C word. The test on Thursday will let us know if that is the problem. If it is the source of the issues, then a biopsy will be performed. Now, we also know that sometimes crazy things happen especially when you have a cath. So maybe it is just some fluke crazy thing that has happened. Maybe there is inflammation causing the complications. There is just no way to know until Thursday.
However, the uncertainty of what is going on is weighing heavy on my heart. For Zine, he wants to deny, minimize, and ignore. We definitely handle stress differently at times. And when we are handling stress differently, it is a challenge for our marriage. We will eventually get to the same place in dealing with stress and then the relationship is smooth and sweet again. But when we are coping in very different ways, harmonious relationship is a challenge.
We did go to church today and I cried through the entire service. I didn’t want to go for that very reason. But Zine wanted to go and I needed to bring my girls home so I went. Wouldn’t you know that the sermon title was “How is your heart?”
We have shared with our teenagers what is going on. Until we know details, we have spared sweet Krisann from the concern. However, she is very observant of our moods…but she’s not asked any questions. There is a fear and an aloneness radiating in my heart right now. I think Zine’s heart is filled with dread and he says, “it’s just one more thing”. Chloe’s heart is definitely filled with uncertainty. And I think Conner just had a feeling like someone had punched him in the stomach when I shared with him.
Even if everything turns out okay on Thursday, it does not take away the added stress that has been placed in our lives. We follow Thursday up with an appointment in Cullman on Friday. Zine has appt with primary doctor on Monday to recheck elevated liver enzymes. I have appointment with the psychiatrist and the nutritionist this week as well. So it is a medically filled week.
When we don’t even feel like praying, we find comfort in knowing you are praying for us. When we don’t know what to say, we know that we have a Spirit right alongside us. And He does our praying for us making prayer out of our wordless sighs and aching groans.
Never before have I prayed for some crazy fluke thing
Well, there's a first time for everything. So you just keep praying for some crazy fluke thing!! 🙂