Chemo #3

As I have shared we have some major stresses going on that has just about wiped us out emotionally.  When people who have MS get stressed, it makes their MS much much worse.  So Zine’s body physically and emotionally have just about shut down prior to chemo.  And then yesterday we added chemo to the body.  So his body is really a wreck right now!

We spent almost an entire day at The Cancer Center yesterday.  We had a very somber doctors appt yesterday.  We almost didn’t get chemo yesterday.  The oncologist doesn’t think the chemo is working.  He wants us to seriously converse with our neruologist about whether we continue with this particular chemo drug or not.  So we have appt to see neurologist in a few weeks.  And I assume at that time our plan will be different yet again!  Thank goodness I have finally gotten to the point to realize, there is no definite plan.  It is always changing and until God chooses to heal, there will always be something going on!  That has actually helped me a lot!  There’s no check boxes to check off and then you’re done!  Nope…it’s a list that is always changing!

By last night, Zine and I could hardly function.  Exhausted physcially and emotionally!  We did something we never do!  We both took today off.  And we have simply tried to take some time to breathe!  It’s been a day at home with the family and several friends have been by for various reasons.  I am truly amazed at how many people are loving us through various ways.  House cleaning, yard work, dinners, texts, drop in visits.  We are blessed in this mess by others loving on us!  Thank you!  And a day off today to be at home and breathe has been a blessing as well. 

About 3/4 through Zine’s chemo treatment, all color leaves his face!  I call him my white boy!!  But it totally breaks my heart when he looks so sick.  So today he is not any better.  He’s definitely still my white boy!!  No olive skin for him!  His nausea is controlled with meds today!  Thank you Jesus!  He has had a headache on and off yesterday and today.  His eyes have burned and he has had a very low grade fever.  Not enough to worry about but definitely a low grade fever for him.  I will continue to keep a close check on his fever!  He is EXCEPTIONALLY tired.  Moving from the sofa to the bathroom takes about every ounce of energy he has.  And the really bad part…it seems we are going through this for nothing!  At what point does one just quit fighting with drugs and let the disease run its course?  Definitely a question that we have contemplated a lot! 

Thank you for covering us in prayers!  Please continue to intercede on our behalf. 


Wife of 20+ years. Mom to 3 children. Love sharing my life with weary hearts so that we can know the One who is Good, who is in Control, and Whose strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.

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  1. Renee

    I have no words but know you have my continued prayers

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