Yes! We survived today!

We started our day at 9:30 at the Oncologist.  We are always treated like stars when we go there.  The infusion center is wonderful.  The nurses love us and we love them.  Dr. G is very nice.  He commands a lot of respect and he very much is decisive and has a plan.  But we like him!

Today Dr. G gave us lots and lots of details about our upcoming adventure.  We have a definite plan but that definite plan is up for changes at any point.  We are planning for a treatment on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday and Tuesday.  However, there are many complications that are possible.  We are starting outpatient but very much understand there is a chance that we could end up admitted at any point.   We understand that Zine’s platlets can drop and if that happens then the whole schedule goes out the window.  We understand that we are looking at various IVs to replace some things that will be lost or damaged in the process.  We understand the risks.  But amidst all of the scary things we heard, Dr. G looked at us and said, with as much comfort as I’ve ever seen him exhibit,  I have never lost a patient in this process.  We will cling to that over the next couple of weeks as a piece of comfort for sure!!  He also said to us, I would love to come be with you during this process but often it is when I am seeing patients.  But I will do my best to get to the hospital and see you as you go through this.  But assured us that he was the one making the decisions and he would be informed each time before the process began and he would be the one deciding if we proceeded or if we didn’t.    So…I felt like we saw a different side of Dr. G today.   We saw a great deal of compassion from him today!

We then walked to a different hospital building and met with the vascular surgeon.  We both really liked him.  He and his nurses were super nice to us as well.  He explained that they would put in a dual central line.  Compared to the port this is a large tube.  He wants to try to keep the central line away from the port.  If an infection were to set in, if they are close together then they would both be at risk.  So the hope is to put the central line on the left side if possible.  But that could change when he gets Zine to surgery and actually threading the tubing to where it needs to go.

So all that took us 5 hours!!

On Monday, we will be at hospital at 7:30 where they will do an outpatient surgery and insert the central line.  When we are done with that procedure they will send us to where he will have his first blood process done.  So we are prepped to be there all day long on Monday.

I know that God is with us.  It is no coincidence that this is Christmas season when we often refer to Christ as Immanuel–God with us!  So that has really stuck out in my mind today.  God is with us.  Definitely don’t want to walk this path.  Nope nope and nope.  But as I told someone earlier, I might shed lots of tears between now and then but come Monday, I will put my brave face on and I will embrace our day.  Kinda like telling your children to be brave before they get their 4 year old shots.  (which by the way I think are the absolute worst)!

I asked Zine how he felt about everything so I could put it in the blog post and he didn’t come up with any feeling words.  He grimaced and said, it’s another surgery!  He also said I hope it helps.  So I think he’s pretty disengaged from the situation right now.  He is in function mode.  Doing what needs to be done!

I am personally very tired tonight.  Krisann and I both are struggling with loads of congestion.  I have been teary eyed today.  And feeling overwhelmed at times.  But yet I am calm.  There’s no frantic feelings. There is an apprehension and a bit of fear about what’s to come.  But I think there’s a peace as well.  God is with us and that promise I am resting in and if I’m not resting in it, I am speaking it to myself!

We do cherish your prayers the next couple of weeks.


Wife of 20+ years. Mom to 3 children. Love sharing my life with weary hearts so that we can know the One who is Good, who is in Control, and Whose strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.