What We’ve Been Up To

It has been so busy I have barely had time to think.  This is our little lull between chemo treatments.  Blood counts are back up so we’ve had a couple of weeks of “normal” life.  Whatever normal is…I’m not even sure!  But this has been our time to get several many appointments in that “normal” people have.  Things like dentist appointments seem to get pushed to the back burner and aren’t that important in the big picture.  But when you have so much going on, it’s the normal that goes away.  So grateful for a few weeks to have normal appointments.  Never worry that we are too normal, because there was still an appt. at The Cancer Center and a cath tube change.  So, we’ve still had the not normal going on, just less frequent.

We have had a rough week this week for Chloe.  Living with depression just stinks.  She has wore me right out.  There has been personality changes, tears galore, a lot of anxiety, identity issues, very agitated, and emotional on all levels.  I had studied and asked questions all week long and just couldn’t make sense of this depression episode.  Last night in desperation, I sat down on her bed and told her that I was done!  I had no clue what to even say or do!  And as a mom, I hate hate hate to be at that point of desperation.   She had two appointments today with two wonderful people that could help us try to figure her emotional status out.   Today I took her to the psychiatrist and to counseling.   The results of those visits…it seems that there may be a cause to all these emotional symptoms and that is the medicine that we have her on that is helping with pain.  It’s the one that made her to where she couldn’t walk.  Well, it seems that these emotional issues she is experiencing could very likely be caused by medication!  Here I have spent all week using the many hours of counseling I have had to try to make sense of what we were seeing emotionally.  Not once, did I ever think about it being medicine related.  Tomorrow, I will be in contact with the doctor in Ohio.  As of right now, I’ve had it with medicines!  Somehow, her medicine is making me crazy!  That’s not quite fair!

Zine continues to have decent days and bad days.   Yesterday, he just had a difficult day emotionally.  But today has been better than yesterday for him emotionally!  His physical health continues to decline.  His back is hurting him some.  I think it is probably time to throw the walker away and go straight to a chair.  But…he’s fighting that one hard!!  But one thing he doesn’t have a problem with…sleeping!  So at any given moment you might find him asleep!

Going to continue to focus this weekend and next week on getting organized and I think we are about to go back to school routine very soon!!  Two weeks before chemo so I must make them productive!!


Wife of 20+ years. Mom to 3 children. Love sharing my life with weary hearts so that we can know the One who is Good, who is in Control, and Whose strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.