I have spent 20 minutes trying to think of a title for this post.  “Bringing you up to date”,  “God’s not silent,”  “Peace be still,” and I decided that was enough!  You all could choose what to name this post if you like!  I have been quieter than usual but that’s not because life has been quieter.   Life has had its curves and twists and ups and downs.  As I begin writing this, I am sitting in ER with my daughter getting an IV infusion for a massive migraine she has been battling since Tuesday.  Definitely proof life’s not quiet.  However, in the middle of curves and twists and ups and downs, God has not been silent.

A Few Falls

Zine has had a few falls over the past few weeks.  With my shoulder being weak, I know I am not confident in my ability to get him up.  Here’s where God has not been silent.  Each fall has happened when Conner has been at home!  Conner is rarely at home.  The fact that Conner has been home each of the times is a way that God has been at work!  Getting Zine up has never been an issue.  God indeed has not been silent.

Heart Problems

I have been struggling with heart issues.  PVC’s won’t kill me, but they can make me quite miserable at times.  I’ve been on medicine for years now.  There have been a few times that PVC’s have landed me in cardiologist office and ER.  The past few weeks have been miserable.   I will be having a heart ablation done right at the start of the new year.  I am quite nervous about this procedure.  However, I do hope that my heart cooperates and that this would be a permanent fix for these crazy PVC’s.  God has allowed me an excellent cardiologist for this procedure, and his nurse just happens to be my neighbor down the street.  It totally helps when you feel confident in the care you are receiving.  God is not silent again, but right in the middle of orchestrating details.

Missing the Matriarch

Oh my goodness, with the death of my mom in October, our lives have not only been filled with grief, but with many details of taking care of business and caring for my dad.  These have been quite overwhelming at times.  My mom was the rock of our family.  So her absence leaves a large hole in our lives.  Since her passing, I think we have developed a greater respect for her, and we’ve learned a lot about the influence she had in our lives.  In the struggles and heartaches we are experiencing, God has been at work.  God has orchestrated details we needed to be orchestrated.  He is bringing healing to our hearts every day.  He has allowed us to be in a place of simply trusting Him.  Circumstances far beyond our control or our reach lead us to trust God.  Thank goodness we know Him!

Christmas Craziness

You all know exactly how this feels.  Somehow during this season, we find it hard to get those to-do lists done.  Many often feel overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed people tend to take their frustrations out on innocent bystanders which just robs from the joy this season is supposed to bring.  I have made it a point, not to let myself get overwhelmed.  I want to be a person that blesses those I come in contact with and not one that strips others of the joy of the season.  I’ve also been thinking a lot about what to do when you are one of the innocent bystanders.  It can leave your heart in turmoil or with anger.  So whether you are one that lets your stress overflow on others or whether you’re the one who has been the recipient of someone else’s stress, your heart needs tending to.  Your heart needs Jesus in this season.

Just Unsettled

Between headaches, falls, heart PVCs, Christmas craziness, and the stress of mom’s absence becoming evident, I have been unsettled.  Anxiety has reared its ugly head.  Food doesn’t taste very good right now.  I stay exhausted.  I have been experiencing an unsettled, unhappy feeling.  Not content.  And even in this unsettled, unhappy feeling, God was at work.  Let me tell you this story.

Divine Appointment

I was waiting on Krisann at Occupational Therapy.  I had taken my laptop and was going to get some writing done.   At the same time I was in the waiting room, another mom was in the waiting room. This mom has a severely mentally challenged 17-year-old son.  When I say her hands are full, I mean her hands are full!  So here I sit in the waiting room with another mom and my laptop in my lap, and God says, “Find out her story.”  I think, “What God?  I was going to listen to a podcast today God.”  Again I hear, “Find out her story.”  I look up from my computer, and this mom is just sitting.  She could have at least been busy on her cell phone or something!  But no!  She’s sitting just waiting for a conversation.  I think I might have felt like Jonah.  “Okay God!”

I started the conversation with a safe topic.  “Our church has a special needs ministry that I think your son might love.  And it would be a place where you could eventually leave him for an hour and a half and at least go buy groceries by yourself.”  What do you know one thing leads to another and this mom’s story comes spilling out.  She indeed was waiting for a conversation.  Amazing how God puts people in our paths at just the right time to speak to our heart.

Sitting in an unfamiliar place with an unsettled heart as God uses an unfamiliar person’s unbelievable life to minister to my heart.  This single mom takes care of her son 24 hours a day seven days a week.  To pay bills, she drives a paper route.  She goes to work at 1 am six nights a week along with her son.  She has taken Rubbermaid tubs and put them in her back floor so that they are even with her van seat.  Her son rides with her each night on her paper route there in the makeshift bed of her van.  Her life is far from perfect, yet she loves with an undeniable love for her son.  Her circumstances are more than unfavorable, yet she is making the best of life.  She has every reason to be unsettled, yet she just tumbles out words of contentment.

God plainly speaks to my heart, “Karen, if I can take care of this woman’s many needs, I can take care of yours too.  If I can fill this mom’s heart with contentment, I can fill yours as well.”  God goes on to say, “Karen, if this mama can display undeniable love for others, so I can demonstrate my undeniable love for and through you.”  And then God gently whispered, “Peace Be Still!”

Peace Be Still

I stop and pray for this mama and myself.  Peace, peace over me peace, peace over her.  Let us not be afraid, Lord, let us trust you Lord with our entire heart and allow your peace to spill over out of each of us during this Christmas season.

Later I started doing a little research on this phrase Peace Be Still.  The first thing that came to my eyes was this song, Peace Be Still by Lauren Daigle.  Oh, my goodness, it was God at work in my life again.  God uses songs to minister to my heart a lot, and this was just what I needed to hear.  The second thing I came across was this devotional in Our Daily Bread magazine.  Pretty soon, all because I was obedient to enter a lady’s life in the waiting room, God was filling my mind with Him!  Phrases like I’m not gonna fear the storm You are bigger than its roar, and God may not bail us out immediately, but remembering that He is in our boat makes a difference start penetrating my heart and mind.  Wow!

Thank you, God for ministering to my unsettled heart.  I pray that this phrase “Peace Be Still” will be what overflows me during this Christmas season.  Peace.  Not stress.  Not chaos.  Not overwhelmed.  Not frustration.  Not anger.  Peace.