Valentines Void

Valentines Day is tomorrow…the happy day where you give roses and gifts to your loved ones.  You go out to eat with your spouse or you have a special meal at home together.  My oh my, on this special day romantic couples most definitely have sex.  Did I just say that word on my blog?  Yep, I did!!

 I used to love this holiday!  Zine and I rarely went out on Valentines Day but we did celebrate it at home and in other ways.  And Zine always bought me flowers or a gift.  Sex…well I just won’t embarrass you to tell you all about that!  At least not now!  I do have some fun stories though!  I remember lots of fun Valentines Day together, when doing things was easier.

But today…I made myself go through the emotions of planning something fun for the family!  The Melting Pot right here.  I made cheese fondue, broth and cooked my meat just like at The Melting Pot and Chocolate Caramel Fondue.  I envisioned it being a sweet special event but instead it felt more like a regular meal.  And oh wait, don’t forget in the middle of the meal it’s time for medicine to keep Zine from becoming incredibly sick.  But…there is something to be said for going through the routine right?

There are no Valentines presents, no Valentines flowers this year.  Definitely no sex!!  Just a constant reminder of where we are in life!

But on the flip side, I am so blessed to get to be Zine’s wife!  I’m soooo glad I get to do that and not someone else!  Despite the heartache going on now, I would not trade my role as his wife for anything!  So as the Valentines void fills my heart, I try to remember that I am so blessed to be able to be his wife!  There is no one who is good enough or smart enough or loving enough to be Zine’s wife!  Only me!  Not that I’m good or smart or loving all the time!!  But, I’m glad it’s me and it’s one area of my life that I am confident in…my love for Zine is strong!!

I love you Zine Brooks Smith!!  And I’m beyond blessed and extremely grateful to walk this road of life with you!  Even with the heartache…I’m still glad I get to be with you!


Wife of 20+ years. Mom to 3 children. Love sharing my life with weary hearts so that we can know the One who is Good, who is in Control, and Whose strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.