Can you believe this year is half over?

I have been reflecting on the last six months of my personal life, my family life, and my writing life.  I thought I would let you in on these reflections.

My Personal Life

Six months ago, I sat in one of the darkest places of my life.  I was in an eating disorder treatment center.  Never in a million years would I have ever guessed that would have been part of my story.  However, today as I look back at that time and what God is doing in my life, I’m so thankful.  There is so much that I want to share with you about my journey, but it just hasn’t been the right time.  God has had some healing work to do in my life before I could share with you, and I’m grateful to say that [bctt tweet=”God is the healer of broken hearts and broken lives!” username=”Karen_Kay_Smith”]

I remember a song my dad and I used to sing about God being the healer of broken hearts.  The song said, “He can mend your shattered life and give you peace within.” This is what God has been doing in my life.  I am a living testimony that He picks up broken pieces, mends you back together, and makes you whole.

Have I arrived at complete healing?  Nope!  Not even close.  But then again, I don’t think I will arrive until He calls me home.  I’m pretty sure I will always be a work in progress.

Not many will understand how significant this next statement is.  However, yesterday, I packed my “sick” clothes away.  I called them my skinny clothes.  My husband called them my starving clothes.  I think the best description is my sick clothes.  They are now out of my closet and packed nicely away in a box. I would love to say I will never need them again.  But I’m not going to say that because I do not want to disappoint myself or others.  I know the truth of the situation, but I’m going to keep on believing that God is the healer, and hopefully, I will not need those sick clothes ever again.  If I do, there is still grace, and there is still healing.

God has done a lot in my life and heart over the past six months.  I’m grateful that I’ve taken time to reflect on what He has been doing.

My Family Life

My sweet husband still has MS.  Just this past week, he took a fall.  Falls are always a stressful moment.  From the fall, until he is safely back in a chair are such difficult moments for him and me.  I’m grateful that this fall we were able to get him back in his chair.  A few weeks ago, Conner came and got him back in his chair.  I left a worried teenage daughter home with Zine this weekend who knows if he falls, she will have to call for help.  As I told her, 911 is there for a reason.  This is just a glimpse of life with MS.  There are daily stories I could tell of living with MS from spilling cups, to cutting up food, to the struggles of simply getting in bed, to the ways MS affects the brain.  These are the realities of life with MS.

I spent a few days a couple of weeks ago in Columbus, Ohio, with Chloe and Krisann.  Chloe saw the specialists that are world renowned for their work with the type of muscular dystrophy she has.  A half of a year hasn’t brought positive changes to my girl physically.  Like Zine still has MS, Chloe still has MD.  Her heart continues to be affected by her muscular dystrophy.  She had a bit more scar tissue around her heart than last time.  Thankfully, it was a minimal increase, but still an increase.

Despite the last six months not bringing miracles in the physical healing of my family, I have watched God do amazing things in the emotional well being of my family.

Every day I watch God strengthen and encourage my husband.  I love watching Zine soak up what God is teaching him and allowing God to change his worldly perspective.

My girls are emotionally more healthy than they have been in a while.  I am learning even to process emotions, and I have been one to deny, deny, and deny emotions.

Do we all still struggle at times emotionally?  Absolutely.  However, we are better equipped to work through those emotional struggles. We are praising the Lord for this!

My Writing Life

My writing life has been slow for the past few months. I think I have just needed some time to allow God to bring healing into my life.  However, I am beginning to feel the urge to get back to some writing.  I have a book that is almost half completed that I need to finish.  Nearsighted:  Choosing to See Anorexia Differently is the current title.  (That could change.)  God continues to write the story of anorexia in my life and on my paper, rather my computer screen.  So for the next four months or so, I am committed to finishing that manuscript.

Along with writing a book, an author has to focus on building their platform.  With that comes many things that feel overwhelming to me. I have been doing some online learning trying to figure out just how to do this platform building thing.

An email list is where I need to focus on growing my platform.  To do this, I need God to give me creative ideas!  I want Him to lead me in this path so that I am giving my readers things that will encourage them or giving them a deeper understanding.  Over the next few weeks, I am focusing on time with Him and asking Him to show me exactly how to do this platform building.

If you follow me on Instagram, you will see more and more posts as it relates to disordered eating and recovery.  I would love for you to share my posts or send my posts to your stories if they encourage you or catch your attention.  The same is true on Facebook.  Sharing is caring on social media!  When God gives me creative ideas for building my email list, I will be sharing them with you, my readers, and do hope that you will share them with your friends.  And say a prayer that God would give those creative ideas to me. I know that God is still working on me, and He is still working in my writing, making me be the author and influencer He would have me to be.

I don’t know if you make it a practice to have a six month reflection time.  If not, I highly encourage you to do that.  It has been extremely healthy for me to reflect and see where God has been working.  We can get busy and forget to look for God at work.  So sitting down and reflecting, allowing God to speak to your heart is a fantastic way to see God’s working in your life.  Also, it breeds excitement for what God is going to do in the next half year.