Let me tell you about that day I fell flat on my face. Have you ever had a day when you fell flat on your face? It might be literally. It might be circumstantially. If so, I think you may identify with this story.
It was Family Week at eating disorder treatment. Family Week was where my family and loved ones spent two days in my treatment center being educated about eating disorders and purposefully entering this season of my life. If you know me, you know I rebelled greatly at this. I am a do it by myself kind of girl. I especially do not want people to enter my emotional world and trust me when I say–most eating disorders are more emotional than physical.
The other reason I greatly rebelled is that much of what would be done, would be done in a large group with other clients and their loved ones. Why would I want to share personally with a large group of people? The answer was I didn’t. Therefore, that Karen Smith rebellious spirit came welling up inside of me, and at times slipped right out of my mouth.
However, my desires were overruled, and my husband and a close friend joined me at Family Week. I will spare the details but day one of Family Week was one stressful day. (Day two is a whole different story for another day.) That evening as we sat in our hotel room, my anxiety was getting the best of me. There was this intense feeling of wanting to run. I wanted to run away from having an eating disorder, I also wanted to run away from my loved ones being in this place with me, and I wanted to run away from God.
So what did I decide to do? I decided to run. I wasn’t running away, but I was going to run around the parking lot a few times on my way to get a few water bottles out of my car. (Nevermind the fact I didn’t have running privileges.)
And this is when I fell flat on my face right there in the Hampton Inn parking lot. The picture shows my knee which found the parking lot pavement quite hard.
I quickly looked around to make sure no one saw this very ungraceful fall. Thank goodness I was the only one in the parking lot. I gathered my water bottles and returned to my hotel room. Quickly, I made my way into the bathroom to assess the damage of my fall. My knee revealed the truth that it was going to need some attention.
Then I had to confess to my loved ones what I had done. Our sweet friend had to get out and find a pharmacy at 9:00 at night. As I lay on the hotel bed with a hurting knee and hip, waiting on a friend to get back with bandages, I felt utterly humiliated.
My idea to run didn’t turn out very good for me. The same is true when I try to run away from life. It doesn’t turn out very good. However, when I try to run away from God, I love the fact that He is always there ready to pick me up when I fall.
I love what Psalms 40 says. It’s a beautiful picture of being lifted out of the mud and mire, and God gently places my feet on a rock. God gives me a firm place to stand.
[bctt tweet=”When I have fallen in a mess, God lovingly picks me up out of my mess and sets my feet on a rock.” username=”Karen_Kay_Smith”]
And then in verse 3, the psalmist says, “He put a new song in my mouth.” I’m drawn to the fact that God is giving me a new song. He is giving me a new way to do life. What does the song say? What does the new way of life look? I can’t answer that question right now. I am a work in progress. But I pray, Lord help me not run away from life. Help me embrace this life you have given me, even if this life includes an eating disorder, a husband with MS, a daughter with health issues, whatever the circumstances are, help me embrace the life you have given.
