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Recovery and craziness…that sums up our lives these days. Often, I think I need to write a blog update, and time slips right by.  However, it is not because we are doing nothing.

Recovery has been one of our top priorities around here.

Recovery from covid and rehabilitation from Zine’s broken leg.  About three weeks ago, I had the realization at the end of one Thursday; I don’t feel exhausted tonight.  Like really exhausted.  And ever since then, my energy has returned.  I had stopped thinking I was exhausted from covid.  I thought that it was the new normal.  However, when my energy returned, I was so excited and grateful.

Rehabilitation for Zine has been a bit slow.  Physical therapy came three times a week for several months.  While there was some improvement, there was nowhere near the independence level for Zine that we needed.  But just look at this face of determination.

Karen’s Explosion

One day the physical therapist informed us that they would be releasing Zine for “failure to progress.”  Let’s say I must have been having a bad day because those words were met with great emotion.  I looked at the physical therapist with intense eyes, and I determinedly told him if Zine wasn’t progressing, we needed new goals.  “Forget standing; we need functionality,” I announced.  I asked the therapist to look at my eleven-year-old sitting on the sofa, and then I asked him to look at my husband, who needs someone with him all the time, just in case he needs to go to the bathroom.  With tears on the verge of overflowing, I told the therapist I couldn’t continue to stay home ALL the time with Zine nor could I continue to pay someone to stay here just in case he needed help.  I needed to be a mom too.  I was not okay with where we were.  It was finally agreed that Zine could have four more weeks of physical therapy two times a week.  We are in week three of four.

Tough Love

I have had to put on my tough love hat.  And I do say it has been tough.  It was so easy for me to lift Zine into the bed at night, and we had become quite accustomed to that routine.  However, if I want Zine to have independence again, that meant we had to do the hard work behind the scenes.  Zine asks me to fix his water bottle; I respond, “I think you can do that.”

At bedtime, I sit on my bed and pretend to be immersed in Facebook and Instagram updates.  In reality, I am trying to keep from crying while I watch my husband struggle to take off his clothes and get his feet on the bed—tough love.

Are we there yet?

Ummm, nope.  Not totally.  Some nights, Zine can get himself in bed.  Other nights he needs help.  Sometimes Zine can take himself to the restroom, but most of the time, he needs help redressing.  He is slide transferring only right now.  Will he ever be able to stand up and pivot from one chair to another? Or from the bed to his chair? Or will he ever stand up and pull his pants up again? I doubt that he will, but we are committed to progressing him as much as we can.  Therefore, exercise and stretching seem to be a common activity and topic here these days.

Increased Risk of Falls

With working on improving his independence, the risk of falls has elevated.  As a matter of fact, twice recently, Zine has had a fall.  One night, it was a disaster.  Even using the lift, I could not get him in his chair.  Thankfully, Conner was here that night and was able to help me.  Poor Zine was all folded up like a taco in that lift!  It was such a disaster that it was quite funny.  We all three giggled about the predicament we were in.  So thankful that we can laugh at these situations now.  That has not always been the case.

Craziness and More Craziness

Besides being therapy-minded around here, I have been working on getting my Pilates certification.  I have completed 150 hours of online training, and I have obtained my First Aid, CPR, and AED certification.  I have completed 66 hours of in-studio training.  Now, I have to log a lot of practice teaching and self-practice to be fully certified.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever dream of doing this.  Sometimes I wonder what in the world was I thinking?  However, I know this is God’s plan and that this is going to provide me a little time to do something I enjoy and, hopefully, one day, even earn a little income doing it.  I also wonder how God is going to use my gifts in this place as well.  I feel like this will open doors for me to pour into other ladies that need encouragement and love.  Hopefully, one day I can use this Pilates certification with eating disorder recovery clients.  It sure has been instrumental in changing my life.

Speaking of eating disorder treatment…

Nearsighted is launching next week!

Nearsighted is the book I wrote.  You can read here for more information.  I never intended to write that book.  As a matter of fact, it was through the direction of my literary agent, much encouragement from my A Wife Like Me writing team, and the support of my family that I agreed to write this book. Little did I know how much recovery and healing it would usher into my life.

I can’t wait for this to be in your hands and in the hands of other families who struggle with eating disorders or disordered eating. I will be sending more information out next week about how you can help be a part of launching this book into the world.

Have you seen the cover?  If not, take a look!

Pure craziness is obtaining your Pilates certification and launching a book at the same time.

I’m not sure who thought that was a good idea.  It was a terrible idea that has caused me to be more than crazy some days.  And the craziness won’t be over for a while longer.  While it has been crazy and a lot of work, there have been so many moments filled with joy and delight for me.  For the first time ever, I have been proud of what my body can do.  In Pilates training, there were several “wow” moments for me.  Even a few minutes ago, Zine and Krisann celebrated an accomplishment with me.  I was so excited to complete an unfamiliar task!

Grief and Joy

Grief and joy go hand in hand.  Isn’t that amazing that such opposite words go together?  While we continue to grieve the decline in Zine’s abilities, there is joy in other places.

While I am still fresh in the grief of losing my dad, it was his influence in my life the past couple of years that energized me to finish writing that book. He always told me he wanted the first signed copy.  I’m wondering if there’s some airmail system to heaven.  🙂  Once again, grief and joy are holding hands right here in the middle of my heart.