Our favorite game–Spades.

Early in our marriage, this was a game we often played with our “bestest” couple friend.  Throughout our marriage, it has been a game we have enjoyed playing with other couples.

The rule is we are never on the same team.  It is best for our marriage that we play against each other instead of with each other.  I am a very competitive person, and Zine doesn’t have a competitive bone in his body!  I am also a loud winner and a sore loser.

A Step in Overcoming my Eating Disorder

Because my eating disorder has kept us from having friends over for quite some time now, there haven’t been many games of Spades played.  However, to overcome some of the tight holds the eating disorder has had in my life, we branched out, invited a couple over, had dinner AND dessert, and then we picked up a deck of cards for a game of Spades.  (This makes family number two we have had over for a meal…just the first one we played Spades with.) Dinner and spades seem like regular commonplace events for most people.  However, for me, these meals together are a huge event in overcoming awkwardness and pushing into what life looked like before an eating disorder invaded.  My friend and I may have lost in the last round after maintaining a small lead throughout the game, but we still had fun.

MS Invades our Spades Game

Sadly, I think our days of playing Spades may be done.  There may never be more games of Spades, and that makes my heart extremely sad. We discovered something–MS invaded our spades game.  Who knew that MS would make it difficult to hold your cards?  Zine struggled immensely to organize his cards, hold his cards, and pick a card to play.  Finally, Chloe came to his rescue.  Chloe sat beside him, held his cards and helped him play.  The reality that MS continues to march its way through my husband’s body is just sickening to me.  However, I loved watching Chloe come to Zine’s side and play alongside him.  Take that MS!!

Depression has been a bit amped up this week.  I believe this recognition of a decline has helped increase depression.  It is yet another loss in this life with MS that must be grieved.

I wanted to come up with some profound spiritual truth for my readers.  After letting this post sit in my unpublished box for quite a while, I decided maybe there’s not supposed to be a profound spiritual truth. Sometimes, sadness happens. My faith still stands amidst the sadness as I watch my husband’s health slowly decline.  Some days, it hurts my heart to watch him struggle.  Other days, I feel angry, and that life is unfair.  But some days, there’s a sadness and grief that overwhelms. When you love deeply, you hurt deeply.  And I love this guy of mine deeply, so no wonder there is sadness, anger, and grief at times.

Platelet Count

At the last check, Zine’s platelet count had dropped low.  Today was recheck day.  They accessed his port, took his blood, and then they left him accessed while we waited.  When the nurse walked away and left him accessed, the look on his face said it all.  Those twenty minutes passed quite slowly while we waited.  We are thankful that his platelet count had come up a little bit from the last check, so no blood was needed today.  We are so grateful for that blessing!

Easter

We are looking forward to celebrating Easter with our kiddos this weekend.  You know we don’t just dye eggs around here.  There is always some fancy twist to dying eggs.  This year is no different.  I have a new plan for dying Easter eggs!  Just wait…India Ink meets Easter egg tomorrow at the Smith household.  Happy Easter to you!  May you experience the risen Savior at work in your life!