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Home health nurse came today.   Typically takes about 30 minutes or so for her to change Zine’s cath and flush his port.  Except today…the new cath would not go in.  She worked and worked and worked.  She tried three different tubes and there seemed to be an obstruction.  After a phone call to the urologist, it was a trip to the ER….again!

It was time for Krisann to go to gymnastics.  So Chloe, even though she feels horrible, came to my rescue and took Krisann to gymnastics and I took Zine to ER.  This is part of the reason that my 7 year old has anxiety!  You just never know what is going to go on here!

Zine gets very frustrated when things aren’t going the way they are supposed to go.  He’s like don’t talk to me, don’t ask me questions, just decide what’s next!!!  So ER bound we are.  Because Zine has a permanent cath he can’t go very long without a cath or else his hole will close and they will not be able to get another tube in without surgery!  So time is of the essence.  Which means, when you walk into an ER and the waiting room is full, you get to go straight to a room.  Once in triage, I asked how long we would wait and they said, you won’t!  And we didn’t!  From the moment we got in the room someone was with us non stop.  We didn’t get our doctor that we like so much but the doctor we had was super duper good!  She was in our room no less than an hour maybe more like an hour and half. They worked and worked and worked and worked trying to get his cath in.

I will spare the details of how they finally managed to get a small cath tube in.  Not the size we need. But they were finally able to get a small tube in that will do the job for a temporary time.  Crisis over for today.

The question is what caused the problem?  We do know he has a UTI and could that cause the issue today?  The other possibility is that he has something they called a stricture.  That is where scar tissue builds up and narrows the opening so the tube will not fit in.  So, we must follow up with urologist.  If it is a stricture, then a surgery could be in his future depending on location and size.  So here we go again…learning new medical words!

But I tell you, the doctors and nurses all love Zine.  The nurse today said I’m sad you are leaving me! Of course she had been with us non stop for several many hours at this point.  But really, everywhere we go, the medical staff all talk about how Zine just encourages them and builds them up!  He is so much nicer than I would be in situations like today.  We started praying years ago, when Chloe was a baby, that in our mission field known as hospitals and doctors offices that we would always be someone that people would look at and know there was something different about us. And we want to encourage and love those around us.  We are always honored and blessed when we feel like we have had an opportunity to encourage, guide or simply bestow love on those around us.  We have been blessed with many opportunities to do just that!  Grateful that today was no different.  Even when Zine and I both were very frustrated, I was so glad to realize we still loved others well today.

I am learning to roll with the flow better on days like today!  And I’m super grateful for big kids to help with Krisann on days like today!

A few other updates:
–We have some close friends that are going through a difficult season right now and our hearts are burdened for them!
–My dad has to have knee surgery.  Please pray for wisdom on when and where to do that.  And how best to care for my mom during that time.
–Chloe has not felt well lately.  I really want that child to feel good!
–Chloe’s sleep study monitoring that Ohio needs we can’t get it done here.  So we made decision yesterday that we will just do that in Ohio!  Frustrating that is in her future again!
–Krisann’s anxiety has been pretty high.  Monday was a TERRIBLE day at school for her.  Last night she had a good bit of anxiety.  And of course, when I came out to let her know her dad had to go to hospital again that brought on more fear!  I hugged her, assured her that he was going to be okay, but really very few words reach that place in her heart!
–Conner has had his own stressors today.  He’s typically my roll with the flow guy!  But he was even bothered today and I was able to talk some to him but not like I would have liked to!
–I have felt stress for sure!  A bit ago, it felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest and ears.  Since they changed my heart meds a few months ago my heart has been doing well.  I didn’t attribute it to stress until a friend said take one of your rescue anxiety meds.  Sounds like it might be anxiety!  So much to my dismay, I succumb to taking a half of one and it has helped.  Dog gone it!  I don’t like it when my body doesn’t do what I want it to do!

In closing, although days like today are hard, I am grateful for a wonderful hospital!  I am grateful that every one of our experiences there have been good.  I am grateful that this didn’t land us in the hospital for days.  However, it is exhausting.  And when you don’t have clear cut answers as to why…it is hard to control the mind!  I like to have answers immediately.  Waiting is not my forte!  We will be following up with urologist at some point.  So pray for quick follow ups and clear answers!  Pray for our spirits to not be discouraged.  I think Zine and I both feel discouragement today.  Not defeat, not desperation, just discouragement.  We still pray for complete healing for Zine!  We would love to give God glory for that!  It seems that this cup will not be removed from us at this time, but even in this place, we want to do it well!