After several crazy weeks, this week seems a bit more normal in some ways! There’s not been 12 doctors appts! There’s not been 4 nights in ICU. There’s not been chemo! There’s not been a surgery!
Zine did have a CAT scan today to reassess his lungs! Chloe has had a lot of pain and some problems with a new medicine we were trying. But I think that’s just going to be part of life now!
Zine has gone back to work this week after being off for 2 solid weeks! Homeschooling is working out some days! Some days…well…we won’t talk about those!
Monday I start back to online teaching so we will really have to buckle down and dig in and find routine. I can’t say how nervous I am about going back to work. It’s been so crazy I can’t imagine adding 4 hours a day on the computer into my world!! Prep time…well…it’s been very little! But as I shared this with my boss this week how my anxiety was rising…she reminded me I had done this before. She actually said, You’re a professional. You could do this blindfolded with your arms tied behind your back! I so needed to hear those words. After I laughed, those words did calm my anxious heart some.
Routine…that actually makes me laugh as well. I don’t think we will ever have routine around here anymore! I think it will always be hold on for dear life, cry when you need to and dance in the rain when you can! Add a little homeschooling here and there. Take advantage of impromptu opportunities to love others despite our craziness!
Some days I really grieve the lifestyle changes we have experienced. Krisann is being raised in a completely different environment than my other two! And that makes me sad!! And she is making us all sad as she begins to understand that her daddy is sick. She is making statements that will kill a mama heart. And the other night, I think she broke her brother’s heart too! Oh how we would love it if we could shelter her from the struggles and pain!
Some days I would give anything to go back to our old way of life…
