Yes, God has given permission to move.
No, I’m not leaving Huntsville, Alabama. I’m not referring to a physical move. I am referring to a change of direction in life.
For about two years, I have been in total upheaval. My life felt like it came unraveled. I came to the end of me. I honestly believe that’s what God wanted. He desired me to get to the end of me. And man oh man, there was a lot of me to get to the end. I’m finishing up the book, The End of Me, by Kyle Idleman. He takes “The Beatitudes” and writes a book about where we find ourselves at the end of us. Blessed are those who are poor in spirit. “Blessed are you when you’re so broke you have nothing to give. Jesus is saying that God’s kingdom beings in you when you come to the end of yourself and realize you have nothing to offer.” Kyle goes on in his book to ask the question, if you could tell your story in six words what would it be? I’ve thought and thought about this. I came up with two six word sentences.
[bctt tweet=”Heartbroken and Grieved, Positioned to Receive. Remembered and Renewed, Permission to Move.” username=”kksmith8694″]
I think this would summarize my life the past two years. I have been bankrupt in my ability to give or do anything and I know the depths of despair. In those places, God positioned me in a place where I had to learn to receive. Receive His love and love from others! It was not something I enjoyed learning either! Receiving is hard!! In the depths of my despair, at the end of me, I was still remembered and being renewed. And now God has given me permission to move. I am so grateful to be able to proceed in what God has been calling me to do.
Writing a book, yes that’s one thing God has given me permission to take the next step. However, God has given me the permission to start building a platform and begin speaking. Sharing glimpses of faith and struggles is where my heart is. Yes, God has a story for me to share. God called me months ago to walk in that, thus I made a website and moved my blog. However, I haven’t moved forward in that calling. I have been paralyzed with self-doubt! Since He is so patient, not only did He call me, but now He’s even given permission! As if His calling wasn’t enough!!
God also has a calling for me to walk alongside others in times of crisis. I have felt God calling me in this direction for awhile. I have been walking with some sweet ladies who have found themselves in a hospital, difficult situations or caregiving and that I know is a ministry He has gifted me to do. Those ministry opportunities feed me! They make me dig deep and love big!
However, when it comes to publicizing my desires, I have been unable to do that. It has seemed self-seeking. I will forever be grateful for one of my conferences I went to this past week. The speaker said someone is sitting out here thinking it is just wrong to market myself. She went on to say let’s replace that with the truth. God has given you a story. He has given you a message. Your job is to share His message with the world! Is there anything wrong with marketing His message in any and every way you can? I could have gone home right then and there. God spoke. God confirmed. God said if you need permission here it is!! At that moment, there was a burden lifted off my shoulders! I could breathe again. At the conference, I was also given the tools to help me know how to move forward. And if I’m going to write a book, I’ve got to build my platform for the publisher. Platform is not my favorite word but it is now one in my vocabulary! But more than a platform, I have a story of faith in the middle of tragedy. A story that says faith wins! And that story is to encourage the hearts of others! Faith can triumph!
I’m broken. I’m not perfect. Life is messy. And God says that is very good now please move!
If I wait until I’m all put together, then that won’t be God. That would be Karen Smith. Karen Smith likes to be in control. You see, I’ve been waiting for Karen Smith to be put back together. I’ve been waiting for life to look pretty again. You know some magnificent healing around my house. Laughter and happiness to abound. Stress to be less. Anxiety to be removed. Instead, I still watch my daughters struggle with anxiety. I am about to find myself in a position once again to receive. This time the receiving is going to be great. (Like folks, I’m going to have to have someone wash my own dog gone hair!!! We are talking big time receiving!) Zine still has MS. Just yesterday, Zine missed a transfer and ended on the floor. There is nothing better for a hurt shoulder than to pick your spouse up out of the floor. Thank goodness for that fancy gait belt and a lot of Jesus! I’m also probably going to be discouraged along the way. But God still says, you have permission to move!
Permission to move…build my platform…write my book proposal…minister to those in crisis…seek speaking opportunities to share my faith in the middle of struggles…give God glory in all I do.
So…I have a question for you! As I seek to move forward with accomplishing some platform building, I would like to know from you…why do you read my blog? Seriously, are you just nosy? 🙂 If so, it’s okay to say that! I don’t mind nosy people! Are you inspired by my posts and if so how? Are you encouraged to press on in your faith? Do you like to pray for us? What is it that makes you want to read about my crazy life? Would you please subscribe to my blog and leave me a message here? I want to make sure that what I do, meets the needs of my readers. Let me hear from you!! I need your feedback!
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My answers: Yes, yes, yes, yes and because you are my friend and I love you <3
And you sweet friend…I love you too!!
I read because I want to keep up with what’s going on in your lives…because your faith walk is an encouragement (even in all the ups and downs), because I call you “friend” and care about your family (even though I don’t get to see you very often). 🙂 And it helps to know how to pray!
Thank you!! I call you friend too! I miss seeing you at the pool and on walks!
We follow your blog so that we know how you are doing, which then helps us know how to better pray for you. Zine was one of the first people I met on our project-and he is why we visited and then placed membership at southside 16 years ago. (& he introduced me to one of my best friends @ work). Though our paths rarely cross- we do care about y’all. Your faith and endurance are inspiring. ❤️
I was so glad God crossed our paths this week! Zine loves you and has spread his love for you to us! Do wish our paths crossed more often.
You are family, but I read to understand your difficulties and am inspired by your faith and the walk with God. Your book would be an inspiration to all families dealing with Alzheimer’s family member, MDS & MS. It would be a beautiful road map for other and know that with God, all things are possible. I’ve said before, you are awesome!
I soooo have you fooled! Awesome….not! But just keep believing that and it’ll all be good! Love you and your family too!!
Why do I read your blog? I genuinely want to know about your life so I know how to pray for you. I also get encouragement from your attitude and how you come through your struggles still praising God for all He does. I love you and your sweet family, my dear friend.
I’m so glad you love me!!
I read because first yes I am nosy. Second I am concerned about you and Zine and am excited whenever there is an update. I am always hoping for a miracle. Third I love to encourage and sometimes I read so I can think of a way to try and lift your spirit.
I love it when you encourage me! That’s a ministry God has given you in my mess! Love how God is always weaving the body together to accomplish His purpose.
I am gently reminded that life is hard and walking in obedience to our Savior is even harder. But worth every bit. Keep walking in His light. May He be glorified in our weakness.
Yes…His strength is made perfect in my weakness!!
I read your blog to keep up with where you are. To know if I’ve missed something to pray about. I read it bc I love you. Because through you God reminds me of things. He teaches. I love each and every member of your family. Yes I’m nosy. :).
Nosy is good! Hugs and Love to you!
Karen, I couldn’t be prouder of you! I read your blog because I want to keep up with your family and know how I can pray for y’all since we don’t live close! I appreciate your vulnerability and candor in your posts! You’ve never been one to mince words, always being honest about where you are. I love that! Keep moving forward, friend! You can do hard things!
I love you sweet friend!!
Yes because we are traveling companions on a similar road. The details differ, but the struggle is there. And struggle we may, until one day we spread our wings and realize we were always meant to fly! Let’s rise together, friend.
Your She Speaks buddy…
I have thought and prayed for you much my sweet friend since God crossed our paths! We definitely have a similar road!
I read your blog because I know you and your family but don’t see you often anymore. When I pray, I do like to be specific. I know that God knows what I am praying about before I pray, but that is just the way I am. I am specific. Continue to write and be you. You don’t need to know what we want.You don’t need to change for me or anyone else. People don’t need everything to be just the way we would like it to be.
I read your blog because I am your friend. We both share an encouragers heart. I believe in the calling God has placed on your life. I want to support you in whatever ways I can! You can do this thing! People can relate to the mess! God bless you, Karen! I can’t wait to see what you do for the kingdom!
This is the short answer. I am always blessed by your honesty and “realness”-is that a word??? I love your family. I love to be able to pray for you. I love that you point us to the Lord through your pain and struggles.
Karen, I subscribe to your blog so I vacant keep up with what is happening in your life and the lives of your family. I pray for what is going on with you and your family. Sometimes I cry over what is going on, sometimes I laugh, and sometimes I shake my head because I have been in the same spot with my mother as you are with yours and I pray more for the same reason. I love you and your family and know God has BIG thugs in store for you.
Why do I read your blog? Because I care about your and your family. You were an inspiration to me as I headed to WA this summer to support my dd with her newborn in the NICU. And I’m a little nosy 🙂