Is God Good?
Have you ever wrestled with this question? I remember a few years ago when a sweet friend so lovingly said to me, “I think you are struggling with the idea of whether God is good or not.” I was horrified at the moment, but she was so right. There is no shame if you have wrestled with that same question. Today, my sweet friend and author, JacQueline Roe, addresses this very question. It is my honor to welcome her to my blog today! I love her to pieces and I think you will too. I pray her words make a lasting impact in your heart. I encourage you to visit her website and take a look at her books.
Has life been difficult?
Has life been difficult for you lately? As an author, especially an author of inspirational nonfiction and fairytale retellings, I should not be surprised when life tips forward to smash down on its face. I have been living the Christian walk long enough that one would think I would know that life in this sin-riddled world is a mess. We will eventually find ourselves bogged down in what Karen calls “the muck.” It’s hard to move forward when you’re being sucked under, isn’t it?
Four months ago, my sister was run over by a truck while asleep in bed.
Go ahead and read that one more time, I have to every time I share it. A man literally drove his truck through the house and ran over my sister. A couple of weeks ago, another sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, though we have virtually no cancer in our family history. All of this has happened while I am still struggling with daily debilitating migraines that are resistant to painkillers and preventatives.
You may have similar things in your life, outlandish obstacles that seem insurmountable.
As a mother to three precious children who love their aunts, we are struggling through this mire. Our feet feel stuck and our shoes are soaked through. There are days when it seems as though it would be easier to remain in bed, but I’ve battled depression long enough to know that we must not do that. So, we rise and have breakfast. We pray together and discuss our frustrations, our disillusionment. We wonder if something else is about to go wrong. We ask God what He is doing. You may be asking God the same question.
Does God have a plan?
One of my children came home the other day almost shaking. It was all too much. The more we talked, the more convinced I became that I didn’t have the right words to say. In my novels, there is a protagonist and an obvious antagonist. In the first book, Beyond the Tower, Rapunzel has been isolated all of her life by her guardian, the witch. When she makes a bold decision to disobey the witch, she loses the only home she has ever known. She has to make her way in the world, wrestle with how to make friends, and stumble over her questions about God. Could God be good if He allows horrible things to happen? Does God have a plan to use these bad things?
As I walked into my house that afternoon with my daughter, I saw a bit of Rapunzel in her. No matter how much she might want to hide from her questions, she had to face them.
Together, we looked at the board where I had written 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:
“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Let me be honest with you.
There are many days when His grace doesn’t feel sufficient. I feel weak next to my child as she is grasping to catch hold of her wavering faith. And I’m scared, oh, I’m scared. What does God want in this situation? How can I boast gladly in this “dark time” (as my little boy called it) and my weakness?
But what if that’s the point? What if the thing I am supposed to learn, the thing I am supposed to boast of, is that I can’t. There is nothing in me that relishes this darkness and pain. I hate watching my children hurting, my family mourning, my little sister preparing for life-altering treatment. I want to cry out, scream even, “What are You thinking, God? How will this bring people to You?”
My faith is weak; it is small. But still, part of me wants to trust that He is good. I have seen Him work in dark times before and as I recall His goodness in the past, I find that mustard seed of faith to trust Him just a little. (see Matthew 17:14-20)
I grab my children’s hands and pray. I reach for my husband and cry. I write angry journal prayers to God and read His Word like I’m falling apart.
Because I am.
But I am also trusting that the story isn’t finished yet.
This is not the end of the story
For the longest time when people asked me what my life verse was, I felt clueless. Then, I realized last year that I kept referring back to Philippians 1:6:
“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
This is not the end of the story. The dark times that God moved me through in the past are still teaching me today of His goodness. Can I trust that He will do the same with these things in my life? In the life of my husband? In the life of my children? For my sisters?
It’s odd to see my life this way, to realize that the real antagonist is the enemy of God, but that this battle is already won. It will be completed, and though I may not feel like I should, I will trust God with my fears and with this dark time.
A lover of books and fairytales, JacQueline uses her faith and life experience with chronic pain/depression to discover new ways of telling old stories as well as her own. She lives in North Alabama with her amazing karate husband and three book-crazy children. She takes every opportunity to drink coffee while wearing dangly earrings and the color purple. Visit her at https://authorjroe.com and join her newsletter to receive a free copy of “Before the Tower” which tells the story of how a young girl became the witch who would one day imprison Rapunzel.
You can purchase all the novels or inspirational nonfiction at Amazon or Kobo or Barnes&Noble.
