Is getting out worth it?

I thought I would share the work and the results of getting out of the house.  Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it.

Zine doesn’t get out  much.   I did take him out and we tried him driving last week in the middle of the cold war.  (See Classified Information.)  Since February, he hasn’t driven at all.  And that was one of those things that was thrown in my face last week.  And in my tough love phase, I took him out for a trip.  I made him do everything.  I didn’t open a door, didn’t unlock a door, I didn’t do anything!  And it was so hard!!  I even had to tell Krisann she couldn’t open the door for her dad.  Oh my…it was heartbreaking.  Verdict he came to…it’s not safe for him to drive.  A hard thing to swallow.    And a hard thing for a wife to stand back and watch her husband struggle with a task that he so bad wants to do!  So aside from the fact, that Zine can’t go by himself…the whole process of getting out is tiring.
First we have to get dressed shoes and all!  That’s step one.  Step two is getting loaded up.
Our sweet blue bus and our steep driveway doesn’t go together.  So…for Zine to load up I have to back the bus down into the street.  And then deploy the ramp!

It is not an easy task for him to get loaded and turned around.  Sometimes he rides sideways just because that’s easier for short trips.  But to turn around correct way takes some delicate turning!

Then I have to buckle his chair down.  There are four anchors that are inserted into these grooves into the floor of the bus.  Then we attach the straps to tie downs on the wheelchair.  Then on the anchors, we attach seat belts!   So that he is buckled in the wheelchair in the car.  By the point this is all done, I tell the ramp to go in and sit down to drive, I’m ready for a nap (especially when it is 100 degrees outside)!!

The grooves in the floor of our car!

One of the four anchors in the groove attached to the tie downs on wheelchair.
Threading the seatbelt from the floor up to the wheelchair.
Finally in and buckled down!

We did this process yesterday as I was going to take Zine to meet a friend for lunch!  Well, his friend got tied up and wasn’t able to  make it…so since Zine and I were almost there…we decided to just have a lunch date ourselves.  Thank goodness it was a mexican food restaurant so I could have my bean burrito!!!  And I got to eat beside this little guy!  I just loved him! 

We drove to restaurant, ate lunch, and drove home.  And just that is exhausting to my husband.  He immediately gets in his chair and sleeps for several hours with something as short as a lunch outing.  (Yes, he keeps a ball between his legs a lot.  We are trying to keep those legs stretched out because their natural tendency is to stick together and that makes getting dressed really hard.  I’m sure the day is coming that the ball won’t work but for right now, we both think it is prolonging that day!)
On Sunday, we went to church (not Sunday School, just church).  We stayed and had lunch afterwards.  And Zine slept all afternoon.  He actually told me when we got home that he didn’t finish his lunch because his arms got so weak that he didn’t even feel like he could lift them up anymore.  And the day he asks me to put a fork in his mouth…well folks…that will be a heart breaking day to say the least!!  I think he will starve before he asks for that!  
So…one often wonders…is getting out worth all the effort?  Sometimes I want to say no because it’s easier to stay home.  But other times, it is worth getting out because we have children that need that stability in their lives.  They need us to go to church with them.  That’s what families do.  They need family together times!  They need us to participate in some of their events! So until the day comes when we just can’t we will continue to get out at times despite the difficulty.  And…my sweet hubby who is quite the social butterfly loves people!  When we first come home from a hospital stay, we have lots of folks visiting.  Right now it’s quiet.  I am definitely not saying I want my husband to go back to hospital though!!!  Sometimes I just think I should set up a visitation schedule for this guy!  I know he gets so tired of this house and us people!!
We have taken for granted the ease of getting in a car and going somewhere!  The next time you quickly get in the car to run an errand, be thankful that you have the ability to get in your car and not have to go through a 20 minute process just to leave!  Also, I took for granted all the times my husband stopped by the store for me on his way home from work!  I miss that!   Ladies, if your husband runs errands for you…don’t take it for granted!  Give your husbands big hugs and much gratitude for their simple acts of service to you!  


Wife of 20+ years. Mom to 3 children. Love sharing my life with weary hearts so that we can know the One who is Good, who is in Control, and Whose strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Becci DeFrank

    Now that's perspective that we just don't always see from where we sit. Love you guys and praying for strength and comfort

  2. Renee

    Yikes, one would think with modern technology it would be easier. Definitely more challening than getting 5 kids into the van.

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