Chemo…Round Two

I’m sure there are many details I left out but I am using this post to bring my blog current.  Now…I can spend more time really sharing what is going on in our lives!  Rather than just facts!

Zine had his second round of chemo today.  The logistics went faster today…which was nice.  The results are the same.  Pale face, nausea, and extreme fatigue.  Last time we started out with a great blood count but even now 8 weeks past chemo, his blood counts are still low!  So I am expecting this round to be a harder recovery!

The nurses are still nice.  The chemo is still blue.  The port is still there.  The fear of the future is still there.  For Zine, the self condemnation of stealing my time and the failure to work 40 hours in a week is still there. For me, the same aloneness is still there.  It just sucks!  But on the flip side…those sweet friends that send you text messages early in the morning telling you they are praying for you are still there.  Those friends that come to my rescue as a surrogate parent are still there.  The people pouring into my big kids and loving them are still there.  That friend that calls you after she’s worked all day is still there.  The all knowing God who sees each detail of our life is still there.

Some days you just have to rest in knowing that you survived your day through God’s strength.  Today was one of those days.  But tomorrow is a new day!  And each day is a gift from God.

Even today was a gift from God.  Yes, it was difficult and crazy.  From a drs. visit to chemo with Zine.  Flew in here for 30 minutes and then back out the door to take Chloe to a drs. appt.  It was still a gift from God.

We met a lady today getting chemo.  She is 95 years old!  We began to talk to her daughter who was there with her.  Had a sweet conversation.  I was able to speak to the daughter about how difficult it is to take care of your mama!  And the 95 year old mama, well she was quite the character.  She popped right up out of that recliner and she was off!  I told her I hoped I looked that good when I was 95.  So this 95 year old lady proceeded to tell me all the good things she had going for her!!  Never once did she complain that she had cancer.  Never once did she say she hurt.  She only said the good things she had going for her.   My response, God has blessed you so much!!  Yes, indeed, everyday is a gift from God and I love how God gave me encouragement through a 95 year old lady today that everyday is from Him!  I wanna be like her when I’m 95…if I’m still here.

But between you and me, I’m secretly wishing and praying that Jesus would come back before then!

kksmith8694

Wife of 20+ years. Mom to 3 children. Love sharing my life with weary hearts so that we can know the One who is Good, who is in Control, and Whose strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.