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After our trip to Ohio with Chloe, we started Chloe on a new medicine that helped her physically a whole lot.  Probably for the first time in her life for a week and a half she was not plagued with pain!  She bounded around this house like a normal child.  She walked around our neighborhood without stopping at the hill and calling us to come get her!  She went up a set of stairs just like I would go up stairs.  I haven’t seen that in ages!  Wow, this dr must have been right that there is an inflammatory disease going on that we haven’t pinpointed yet.  But how exciting for her to feel better.  Even someone from church commented to me about how well she looked and how quickly she was moving.
But then…

The side effects of the medicine hit about a week and half later.  And it has not been pleasant at my house.  It has wreaked havoc with her emotional status.  I do believe that raising a child with emotional problems is probably one of the things that make me depend on God the most!  Right next to having a husband with MS.  But sometimes physical health issues are much easier to deal with than emotional health issues. At least with physical issues, there are things we can do to try to alleviate.  But with emotional health, often it leads you feeling totally helpless.  As a mom, it is heart wrenching to watch your child suffer with severe depression!  Often times, no words I say bring comfort or no words of truth make a difference.  There is absolutely NOTHING mom can do to make your heart feel any better.

We have spent the last 4 weeks weaning her off a medicine that made her feel sooo much better!  And for this mama heart, it is killing it!  To have had the opportunity to know what it is like to feel so much better and then to have to come off of it because you literally can not function in life makes me so very, very sad for her.

So….we have one more week and would be done with the medicine.  But on Friday, she and the psychiatrist made the decision to up some of her psychological medicine to see if it would counteract the drug that made her feel better.  This mama was not sold on the idea that this was the best idea.  But trooper Chloe was willing to give it a try.

By this morning, Chloe was back to not moving very well.  But we went back to the full dose of the new medicine and the upped dose of her psychological drug…so the verdict is to be determined.  If it doesn’t work, we have four weeks of absolute hell to get her back off the medicine.  Needless to say, it has been quite a difficult season!  But God is good and His strength is perfect in our weakness.

We would appreciate prayers this week as we wait to see what happens with the medicine changes. Pray especially for me that my heart would be calm.   I actually have much much apprehension!  Just based on what we’ve been through the past three weeks or so…it may make me insane to repeat it.