Sometimes I have unthinkable thoughts.  I think them, and then I think why in the world did I just think that?  Saturday night, I had one of those unthinkable thoughts moments.  The sad part, that unthinkable thought I typed in a text message!!  You know that think before you speak, but sometimes you text before you think moments.  Thank goodness, after I had written it, I did think before I sent!  Sometimes I don’t.  Sometimes I have to follow a text message or FB message up with I hope that didn’t come across the wrong way or I didn’t mean anything negative by that statement.  Then there are those other times when I let Siri type a message for me, and it comes out all wrong.  I’ve learned the hard way to proof what Siri types if it’s longer than one sentence.

I have thought a hundred gazillion times about that unthinkable thought I typed but didn’t send.  I have beat myself up over that thought a hundred gazillion times.

My friend and I were texting about Thanksgiving plans for each of us.  What am I doing?  Did I want to come to her house for Thanksgiving?  And then came that unthinkable thought that I typed.

The unthinkable thought–[bctt tweet=”Can I just skip Thanksgiving?” username=”kksmith8694″]

After I had typed it and was ready to send, my heart was nudged to erase that text.  I didn’t send it.  However, I had already thought it.  It revealed the state of my heart!

On Sunday, at church, we had the sweetest service centered around thankfulness.  This sweet lady stood up and was thankful for all the support she had received through her divorce in the past year.  Another precious lady gave thanks that her husband was in the presence of Jesus this year for Thanksgiving.  A gentleman from the choir celebrated that we were a part of a church where the Word is taught.  The list could go on.  We sang songs of thankfulness that Jesus paid the price so that we could be free.  And still, my heart struggled.

There are many, many Bible verses about being thankful and giving thanks to God.  1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”   Yes, I know I am to be thankful.  However, sometimes being thankful takes discipline, especially when you don’t “feel” very thankful.  If we are faithful to give thanks to Him in the midst of our turbulent times, even when we do not “feel thankful” I believe He blesses that obedience.

As God began to stir my heart about not feeling thankful, He led me to Philippians 4:6.

God began to show me why I wasn’t feeling thankful.  The answer was I was feeling anxious instead.

Anxiety was bigger than a grateful heart.

This Thanksgiving will be different for me.  Not only will I be missing my mama, but there are also some other things going on in my life that has me in a tough place.  Questions like how do I love well in this season, what do I say, how is my family going to respond, what kind of mood is everyone going to be in, and the list of questions continue to go on and on.  Not to mention the big question that my friend and I were discussing earlier that brought on this unthinkable thought if I could skip Thanksgiving.  What am I going to do practically for the meal?  Am I going to cook my meal and have Thanksgiving here at my house for my family, am I going to join my friends for a meal, am I going to Cracker Barrell?  🙂

As God began to stir my heart and as He brought this verse to my mind, it was like God said, it’s okay to not “feel” thankful right now.  I know your heart, Karen.  Then it was like God said, let me tell you a secret. Bring those anxieties to me and with thanksgiving because I am BIG enough to take care of all these anxieties.

As I give thanks and acknowledgment that God is big enough to handle all my big anxious thoughts right now, then I experience God’s peace.  Philippians 4:7 goes on to say, “Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard our hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

So over the past 24+ hours, as God has worked in my heart, I have been declaring He is BIGGER than all my anxious thoughts, and for that, I am incredibly grateful.  As I have been declaring His greatness, it’s amazing; peace has begun to start invading my mind and heart.  There’s a calmness and a resolve that wasn’t there before.  So I will continue to declare He is bigger than my unthinkable thoughts!  I still don’t know the answers to all my anxious thoughts, but there is a calmness creeping in among them.

[bctt tweet=”A grateful heart relieves anxiety and produces peace.” username=”kksmith8694″]