Tomorrow afternoon we will receive the pathology reports on Chloe’s tumor that was removed. For the first time this evening, I have begun to think about it and feel apprehensive. But since her surgery, we have had so much stress in our lives that worrying about a pathology report was at the bottom. Friends came over last night and they had to laugh at that concept. They were like this is really sad that this is at the bottom of your stress list! We literally have been under an insurmountable amount of stress.
We have had a situation that has consumed us for almost 2 weeks now. It is a situation that seems to evolve and change on a daily basis. It has required us to seek wisdom from others as we had NO clue how to handle things. It has required us to simply trust! In a conversation early one morning as Zine and I discussed options and heartaches, I just had to say…I share the same fears and the same concerns you do. We’re in this together. But I keep coming back to the thought that God sees and He knows. We just have the opportunity to trust God at a deeper level than most people ever get the opportunity. But even so, trust is hard. Or at least trust is hard for me!
Trusting God for healing for Zine.
Trusting God for good pathology report.
Trusting God for chemo to work.
Trusting God for financial reasons.
Trusting God for those that are guiding our paths right now.
Trusting God that His plan is to prosper us and not to harm us.
Trusting God for Chloe’s next appt in Ohio in 3 weeks.
Trusting God in the unknown that evolves and changes everyday.
Trusting God…the list continues. And it’s not a small list. It’s a big list! And for me, trusting is hard.
I hear God say all the time…I have a plan, do you trust me. And I so often answer that question…Yes, but….
Oh how I wish my heart trusted easily. How I wish I answered this question with a resounding yes. This is definitely something God is working in my life! And I do believe in the long run it will be worth everything. But in the meantime,these trust issues are painful!
Say prayers for us tomorrow as our appointment is not until late afternoon. Please pray that Chloe (and I) could trust God! That we could trust God with her anxiety. That we could trust God with the what ifs. That we could trust God’s word. That we could trust God’s love and care. Simply put…that we could trust with no buts!
